Dear Tinnitus
I know you will be surprised to be addressed full on, as it were, when I spend so much time ignoring you. But I felt, for once, like charting our relationship.
I caught you from my friend Harriet. When you first arrived in her head she became very distressed. She told me you were ruining her life and depriving her of all feelings of well being. Particularly she lost the ability to relax because you would make such a racket on any occasional when she was still. I thought it sounded absolutely awful and was very concerned for her. Thank God I didn’t have tinnitus.
But then one evening when I was sitting alone in silence I noticed you in my head. And every time I sat down again you were a bit more present. I went to my GP who said there was nothing he could do. I went online to find hundreds of stories of extreme distress and ruined lives. Clearly you have some muscle.
I spoke to a psychologist friend who told me not to read the online stories. He said many people actually learn to co-exist with you but the people who don’t are more vocal. So I decided to be more strategic.
FirstI considered you a depth of focus problem—like with a camera. I decided not to pay attention to where you were in my head but to focus elsewhere. This worked up to a point. I then decided to stare you down. Whenever I noticed you sneaking up I gave you my total attention for as long as I could. Which turned out not to be very long, because really you are quite boring to listen to.
So now I waste as little time and attention as possible on you. We aren’t friends, you are a nuisance, but you aren’t ruining my life.